I was asked by a dear friend of mine to write my vows down so she could read them again. I am so excited to share them with all of you as they are dear to my heart. I wrote my vows down in my journal two weeks after we lost our little boy, so I will share with you the journal entry.

7/22/16 @ 1:46 a.m.

Peanut,

I wanted to start writing my wedding vows for your daddy, and I wanted your help. Please speak through me as you are 50 percent him. ❤

Courtland,

First, let me say, I love you more than words can describe. Together, we have learned a lot this year. We learned that things don’t always turn out the way we planned, or the way we think they should. And we’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. We’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and we’ve learned that we can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as we have people who love us. With that being said, I don’t just want to marry you to wake up to you every day or be with you forever. I want to marry you because marriage is hard, losing a baby is hard, debt and bills and jobs and life is hard. And you’re the person I want to go through bad times with. Life is never going to magically be all butterflies and rainbows just because you marry your soul mate. Life is hard and I want to marry you and love you every day through every bump in the road. I want to marry you to be your rock through every curve ball, and to look at you when everything else is falling apart. I don’t want to marry you because it’s cute and exciting. I want to marry you because it’s real and hard work, and a lifetime of ups and downs with you is worth every second of it. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise not to keep score (even if I’m totally winning). I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to respect you, support you and, above all else, make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry. These things I give you today and all the days of our life. ❤

love,

your wife 🙂

The day of the wedding I was convinced that I needed to rewrite my vows. That maybe they were too raw or not “cute” enough. But, after I reread them, I realized how special these words were. I wrote my heart on a piece of paper two weeks after losing the love of our life, our little boy. I knew these words were what needed to be shared with the man I was made to marry. I am blessed beyond measure, and I am so happy to share these vows with you.

Advertisements